the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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