A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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