that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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