Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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