i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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