im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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