I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
