wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
