I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
