Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
