You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
