Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
