So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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