Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
