I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize