question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize