Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
