508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think i have herpe
just one?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize