you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
