Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
