chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
