since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize