She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
