I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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