she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
