Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
