brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
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