What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
