Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
