i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
FUCK WHALES
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
