Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
