I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
