hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
