used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
