More tranny stories later!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He felt like a one man threesome
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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