btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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