You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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