My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize