Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
me + whiskey = a bad person
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
