she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
