Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
