we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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