After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
