I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
