so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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