worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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