Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize