Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
