Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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