Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
