can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
