So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
