You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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