I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We need to get me chipped asap
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
