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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i was like PREG?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl

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• (425): View more from Washington

  And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.

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